Today was the day I had been looking forward to all my life, even though I was only eight weeks old. I woke before the rest of the litter, my brothers and sisters who would rather sleep in than get an early start. Little did they realize how important today was.
After eight weeks of vigorous training, today we were going to get our assignments. And I wanted the best one, MaMA support, security support of the Maternal Mobile Agent. The only problem was Number One, first born in our litter and my main rival, also had her eyes on the same assignment. Only one recruit could be assigned to MaMA support, and our litter had two qualified pups. But I was driven, I wanted the MaMA assignment more than she did. I just had to get it!
I trotted out to the training yard, and with my nose, breathed in the familiar scents. Yet, something was different about the air today, a teasing scent mingled with the mundane, a promise of good things to come. The yard showed signs of change in the last few days. The snow had begun to melt, revealing patches of grass underneath its frosty blanket.
“Spring is coming,” said a deep voice from behind me. I snapped to attention. “At ease, number four.”
“Good morning, General,” I said. The General sat down next to me and scratched behind his ear. He huffed in delight, as his rolls of fur jiggled when he scratched.
I wondered if I would grow up to be as large as him, or more like my mother, the sleek, muscular Beagle. Yes, the Pug-in-chief was my father, but here at Puggle Union Preparedness or PUP camp, we address him as General, and our Mother as Drill Sargent. There was no room for common family titles, we were here to train.
“Did you sleep well, sir,” I asked. I was just being polite because I knew he always slept well. I could hear his earthshaking snoring all night.
“As well as most, I guess,” he said smacking his lips and blinking into the sun.
I liked the General. He was laid back and easy going. Unlike Drill Sargent, who was constantly snapping at our heels, training us until we couldn’t train no more.
“Number Four, where is the rest of your company?” I yipped, caught off guard when I heard her biting voice.
“Still sleeping, Ma’am,” I said and came to attention with my chest puffed out and my nose pointed up. Drill Sargent padded around me as she inspected my form. “Should I wake them?”
“Yes, call reveille.”
I ran back to the porch where the rest of my litter slept. They were piled on top of each other, a mass of wrinkled faces, floppy, black ears, and pudgy, velvet furred bodies. I crept up close, and took a deep breath.
“Wake up, wake up, you lazy dogs,” I barked at the top of my voice. The pile of pups exploded into action. I jumped back and took a defensive stance, my butt up in the air and my front paws stretched out in front of me. Whoever dared to retaliate for the rude wake up would find me ready to pounce.
“Number four,” many of them whined. “What’s with you?”
“It’s time to get up,” I said, and waggled my butt, anticipating any attack my brothers and sisters might throw at me. They took their time rousing from their sleep, too long. I couldn’t wait any longer and pounced on Number Two. We rolled over each other and he got me by the leg with his mouth. I shook free, shot out from under him and ran out onto the training yard. He took chase, followed by the rest of the litter.
He nipped at my heels, but I was faster than him. I faked a left, then took a hard right. Number Two over corrected and slid in the slush and into a pile of snow.
The others were now on my tail, so I sped up my pace. I bolted from one side to the next, crossing in front of my peers. They barked in protest as I ran circles around them. I laughed at their frustration. I looked up and saw Two launch into the air. He caught me by the scruff and took me down.
We grappled; biting, kicking and growling at each other. The others gathered around us, cheering for one or the other of us.
“Ah-ten-shun!”
We all froze for a moment, then quickly fell into rank. I tried to keep my form, though I was out of breath from the morning PT. Drill Sargent walked the line, stopping to inspect each and every one of us.
“Suck in that gut…Straighten your ears, Number Two…Watch your form, Three…,” she barked. She stopped in front of me and stared me down. I held my breath to steady my shaking posture.
“Good job, Four,” she said. Her voice changed, softer somehow. Was she proud of me? She often told us that she didn’t have favorites; that to her we were all the same. But sometimes, I got the feeling she was a little less strict with me.
“Thank you, Drill Sargent,” I barked back. She moved on.
“Number Five,” she shouted.
“Yes,” Five yelped and cowered.
“What am I going to do with you,” she said with a sigh, shaking her head. “You’re a disgrace to the Puggle name.”
“I know, I’m not very brave,” Five kept his gaze and head lowered. His floppy ears covered his face in shame.
“Troops,” Drill Sargent turned and addressed the rest of us. “Remind Five of the Puggle motto.”
“The royal grace of a Pug and the intuitive skills of a Beagle, A Puggle is a great breed, loyal and brave, Drill Sargent,” we said in unison.
Five winced at each word. I didn’t know why Five had such a hard time. However, he was the runt of the litter, smaller and slower than the rest of us. I wanted to help him, but at the same time I knew he wasn’t cut out for such intense training.
“Try to do better, Five,” Sargent said with an encouraging nudge of her nose and made took her place beside the General. “The troops are ready for you to address them, Sir!”
“Thank you, Drill Sargent,” General stood to his feet and paced in front of us. “Troops, this is an important day for all of you. Today, you will be assessed and be recommended to High Command for your future assignments.”
“Assignment day?” The litter murmured and gave each other glances. I kept my form, for I knew very well what day it was.
“As you know, there are all kinds of assignments, Guard Dog, Companion Dog,” General stopped in front of Five and stared him down. “Lap Dog.”
Five lifted his head and gulped. “Lap Dog?” It was a pity assignment, one given to the recruit with no skills.
“Hey, now,” General said in a soothing voice. “Being a Lap Dog still serves a purpose.”
Five wagged his tail a bit. “It does?”
“There are no bad assignments,” General said to all of us. “Just bad dogs, and you all have been trained to be good dogs, and that is what you will be. Am I right?”
“Yes, sir,” we all said in unison. Five even sounded more exuberant, because even though he wasn’t the best in the litter, he was a good dog.
“Now people will think you are cute, they will squish your faces and say awwww. Let them think you are harmless, but know that your are in fact, a highly trained operative, ready for action. Is there anything else?” General looked to the Drill Sargent and she shook her head. “All right then, show us what you can do. Dismissed.”
We raised our noses in salute, then broke ranks and dispersed throughout the yard. Some decided to wrassel, others gave chase around the yard. I found my favorite rope and shouted out to Five.
“Hey Five, do you want to play tug?”
“As long as you don’t tug too hard,” he said sheepishly.
“I promise,” I said and shook the rope to signal the beginning of the game. We played for a while, but I kept my eye on the General and Drill Sargent. They walked the yard together, stopping every so often to inspect others from the litter while they trained, whispering to each other now and again.
I stopped pulling the rope and perked my ears. The slight swoosh and the heavy foot falls onto the sleeping porch told me a staff member from High Command came out. My mouth watered as the crinkle of the paper bag and clanging of meaty kibble hit the bowl. It was chow time. My brothers and sisters heard it too and raced back to the porch for our morning grub.
“C’mon Five, let’s go before those guys eat it all,” I said dropping the rope and starting toward the porch. Five trotted next to me.
“Four, do you think what the General said was true,” he asked.
“What’s that?”
“He said that there are no bad assignments, only bad dogs. Do you think that’s true?”
“Are you afraid of being assigned to Lap Duty?”
“Actually, I think it would be a great. I wouldn’t be responsible for security, just being a good dog. You know I’m not that brave.”
“But you are gentle and kind. You would make a great Lap Dog, or even a Companion Dog. Wherever you end up, I hope you are happy.”
“Thanks, Four.”
We got to the porch, where the feeding frenzy was on. The porch was a symphony of clanging kibble in the oversized food dish, the smacking of lips, and nom-nom noises of approval.
“Oh, no,” Five said with a disappointed sigh. “I’m not going to be able to fight my way in.”
“Don’t worry, I’ll make a hole.” I charged into the huddle of hungry pups. I pushed my head between Three and One.
“What’s the deal, Four? We’re eatin’ here!” One said between bites.
“Making room.” I looked over my shoulder and signaled to Five. He came over and crawled under me. His head popped out from between my front legs and he began to eat.
“Thanks, Four,” he mumbled with his mouth full.
"Oh, sure,” growled One. “Make room for baby.”
“Leave him alone, he needs to eat, too” I snapped back.
One swung her butt into my side, trying to knock me down, but I kept my balance. “Who do you think you are, the little baby’s protector? Is the Sargent’s favorite pet trying to get the prime assignment? Well, she’s not here, you can’t impress her with this act.”
“Shut up, One,” I snarled. “If you didn’t eat so much, maybe Sargent wouldn’t be telling you to suck in your gut all the time.” I nudged her squishy side with my nose to make my point. “You look like you’ve been on Lap Dog Duty already.”
One’s eyes grew wide and she stepped back from the bowl as the others chuckled.
“I got to go do some laps,” she said as she turned tail and ran out.
“Thanks again, Four,” Five said, sliding out from under me and taking One’s place. “You’re a good dog, you are sure to get the best assignment.”
I smiled at him before I dug my snout into the delicious kibble, hoping that the powers that be thought the same way.
